Shells

Empty, Hollow, Void.

What is it like to wake up each day with a gravitational singularity in your very being?
To feel hollow and empty on the inside with nothing to fill you in.

Each day you walk the earth seeking to fill that void. You try anything and everything. So long as it has the slightest possibility of fitting, you reach out and grab it.
Yet every time you do you realise black holes cannot be filled in. They simply devour what comes their way.

How do you fill a black hole?
What is the truth?
That a black hole cannot be filled in. That darkness is all consuming.
Not all wounds heal and no scars ever do.

Mistakes

Lost

Without direction or belonging. This is apart of the truth.
Trying too hard to find something thats lost.

Where Am I?
What now?

Truth

Acceptance.
What allows us to see things clearly and for how they truly are.
It allows us a glimpse of the truth.

What is the truth?
Sobering. Depressing. Excruciating. Liberating?

That perhaps healing never began. That perhaps it never may.
Its the stuff in the basement that hasn't been cleared out. When you try you realize that its not a stack of inanimate objects. Its the beast it sleeps inside, sleeps with just one eye. Awaking when least expect. Striking when you least expect. Tormenting.

Then you realise all this, everything, was just a way to ignore the beast. Hiding a beast behind a bigger one. Playing Musical chairs until one or the other strikes viciously.

You bury yourself under the troubles of the world so that the beast is buried as well. Be careful, you might not dig yourself out. But the beast might. The weight of the world on my shoulders sometimes seems more than I can bear.

But it is my burden to bear. For if not I, who else will?
Who else will right my wrongs? Who else will right the world's wrongs?
Abba, give me strength. Forgive my sins.